Sta.sh
"White Boy"
One thing I know for certain
Is that I'll never know what it's like
To exist in the United States Of America
In any form other than white
I'll never know how it feels
To be African, Spanish, or Asian
Because all I ever knew
Was how to be Caucasian
I'll never know the struggle
To be forced to maintain bravery
What it's like to be oppressed
What it's like to deal with slavery
Further if I may add
I never had to endure
The rights women and gays fought for
Before we found a cure
I'll never know the feeling
Of having rights taken away
Just because of my skin
Or just because I'm gay
Its this very recognition
That Caucasian men should be aware
We had life much easier
With our blue eyes and black hair
Prejudice stems from fear
From fear of being wrong
From fear of losing power
So they sing a different song
Because its easier to run
When one feels threatened by a group
And to derail their wayward path
And run their tracks in loops
Why couldn't my ancestors
Include these groups within?
Rather than segregate them
It was indeed such a sin
Why weren't those before me
Actually able to see?
Why couldn't they be open and inviting?
They put a blemish on history
Outsiders had it rough
And I can't apologize for the past
I can act as change for the future
In hopes prejudice doesn't last
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Your rhymes don't seem forced, but sometimes the lengths of the lines vary, which breaks up the scheme a little. Because of that, it's hard for the reader to get a rhythm for it, and it reads more like a monologue than a poem. Since it rhymes, I'm assuming that the effect isn't what you were initially going for.
That being said, if you were to stand up on stage and provide the rhythm for the audience (as opposed to doing it at the computer) then it would flow like a poem.
I think what you've done is really meaningful, and I'll certainly remember it for quite a while.
The truth is that most of us will never know, and we are seeing the problems of the past and feeling that its our fault, or our right to discriminate before we are discriminated against.
The Rhyming of your words is fantastic, the rhythm is jolted a few times, and perhaps a little extra knowledge in these topics would improve some things.
But as I, myself, haven't written anything of this sort, I can not point you in a certain direction for improvement.
Again, fantastic rhyming, it plucked my attention. Good luck in your future endeavors.
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