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February 10
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"Drip, Drop, Drip"

I felt a warm feeling run down my arm
But truth behold the pain was gone
I saw blood dripping on the floor
I watched it drip and drip some more

How it happened; I don't know
But the drip was dripping slow
It might have seemed like such a bore
But I watched it drip some more

I watched the blood leave a trail
Down the drawer and on the mail
The trail now leaked under doors
Drip by drip, it dripped some more

The noise it made was pitter-patter
On the tiles spilt and splattered
To clean this up is such a chore
So I watched it drip some more

My head tilted and pictured eyes
Eyes like mine so young and wise
Disgusted by this scene of gore
The blood still dripped and dripped some more

Red seas turned to rivers
Carrying cells until delivered
Down the halls I could have swore
I watched it drip and drip some more

I laid down with a smile
Ignoring colors in denial
Of blood leaking from the pores
As it dripped and dripped some more

I soon passed out into a dream
If you can figure what I mean
The blood dripping on the floor
Will stop it's drip and drip no more
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:iconmusingmystery:
This is simply stunning. You wrote it in such a way that I feel as if I am in the room listening to the sound of the blood dropping on the floor. The verses flow together beautifully and the rythm is amazing.

I also admire the tone of the poem. It is very calm and seemingly uncaring of the blood slowly dripping down. But it doesn not appear as hopeless or as a sucicide. I'll admit that when I read the title I wasn't sure what I would be reading and hoped that it wouldn't be something utterly dark.

I am very happy to see that my assumptions were incorrect. This is a very excellent poem. I hope to see more like it.
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
8 out of 8 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconicestar411:
Brilliantly heart-wrenching, I agree with all the previous critiques.

The use of your rhyme and the repetition of the 'drip some more' really added almost a, pardon the expression, story-book feel. It painted a picture in your head, despite it may have been a gory or rather sad picture in the first place.

Quite possibly the best poem that I have read either in my entire existence or thus far. It has a mysterious beginning that leaves you hooked and it leaves you with a few quiet thoughts to ponder; suicide, homicide, guilt, regret? Who knows, it could be all of them or none of them or a few.

In some places I would have put "I watched it drip a little more" instead of the 'some more' but that is all up to you, my dear artist, either way you have a knock out poem that you should be incredibly proud of. I would love to see something narrative from you.

Oddly enough, and this may seem extremely odd, it reminded me of a written version of one of 'Of Monsters And Men's songs.

~Krystina Kazikova.
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The Artist thought this was FAIR
13 out of 14 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconeeerix:
I wrote a similar free verse poem called As the Blood Flows.
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:iconeeerix:
How do you write like this it is amazing! I envy you being a writer myself
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:iconbleedthedream180:
=BleedTheDream180 Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i just sit there and think. walk away a little bit. come back to it. they write themselves sometimes xD
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:iconeeerix:
True. It rained where I live recently an I begged y mom to let me stand out in the rain and write a poem. And I did.
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:iconeeerix:
GOD DAMN I LOVE YOUR POETRY!!!!!!
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:iconbleedthedream180:
=BleedTheDream180 Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
LOLOL
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:iconrippleillusion:
~RippleIllusion Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I like how the narrator is being eerily calm and careless, even happy. It really gives off a creepy feeling O.o Loved it!
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:iconalways-a-day-dreamer:
~Always-A-Day-Dreamer Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I could picture everything that happened in this poem. The descriptions were very vivid, and it had sort of a bitter sweet tone to it.
I loved it.
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:iconfilledepluie:
Simply incredible. :heart:
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:iconfoganddreams:
So sad and yet so beautiful! i love it!
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