Sta.sh
"Chorus Of Confliction"
He threw her in a metal chair
Handcuffed wrists; pulled back hair
Stripping her almost completely bare
She wasn't going anywhere
What perfect timing as of now
For their parents had been out of town
What a way for siblings to behave
He had prepared for her an unmarked grave
This time she was going to hear him out
Annoyed by her pleas and pouts
He placed the tape onto her mouth
Her pleas now just muffled shouts
He had told her she had better stop
He warned her like a constant clock
She liked to rain on his parade
Turning nights into darkened shades
He knew he had to do this to her
Still he couldn't believe it was his own sister
Never the less this madness had to end
To him this was quality time well spent
She had already killed his last girlfriend
And now she was planning to do it again
Except he had intercepted the act
And took what he read as a matter of fact
He'll never forget how the car swerved
And curved into that innocent girl
And the way the law excused what she did
To think one can rely on justice God forbid
"But now tonight, justice is served,"
He laughed as he continued taunting her
Her eyes widened with fear and fright
Would she live to see the end of night?
Some better questions one would ask
Would his motives undo his past?
Would his actions help him sleep?
For there is no end that I can see
He put his faith in the gasoline
Poured around her bloodied feet
Blood from nails ripped one by one
The same pain he felt she had done
Before he left he lit a match
And watched a trail of fire catch
From one end of the room to the other
Will she ever tell her mother?
But lo and behold if truth be told
What these siblings may never know
Their father forced the daughter to drive down that lane
And their mother told the son to start the flames
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Wow! Way to add a twist at the end *air high five!* That sure hooked your readers and they will be begging at your doorstep for more!
There is one spelling error in this poem (no worries though I am horrible at typing so I make them ALL the time
Your first few lines were the inital hooks for your poem because it painted such a livid picture of the scene. In fact, all throughout your poem there was astounding vision, that the audience could almost imagine themselves standing in the corner of the room while this all happned; listening to the thoughts of the brother.
However, your diction could use some sprucing up. It was a little on the bland side, but what u were lacking in diction you made up for in everything else.
Your metaphor "He warned her like a constant clock." Was quiet pleasing personally as a reader. The more metaphors you have means the more angles you give a poem. And the more angles you give a poem, the more ways each phrase can be taken; which in turn means more ways for people to see and connect!
Thanks for sharing with me yet another unique poem! Keep on writting, I look foward to the next one
-LuvThemHungerGames
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